Sunday, March 23, 2008

Pope’s Easter Message Mostly Passive-Aggressive Guilt Trip

Pope Benedict XVI addressed a crowd of over 50,000 people in Vatican City today for his annual Easter sermon, delivering a thinly veiled criticism of what His Holiness calls “Holiday Catholics.” He began by remarking how big a crowd had gathered to commemorate Easter. “Nice to see so many of you here. Not so many of you bothered to show up last week, but oh well. That’s ok, I guess. I suppose you don’t really need to hear what I think about Psalms 41-55, as long as you see me on Easter.”

His Holiness went on to discuss how the congregation took him for granted, never called, never wrote and generally only paid him attention when they wanted a blessing or an excommunication. “But hey, you’re out there living your lives, right? That’s what’s important. I’ll just keep hanging out here, swinging the thurible till you lot decide you need some divine intervention again.” He then closed with a vitriolic, “see you all at Christmas, although I’ll probably be dead by then.” This tone of Pope Benedict’s address follows in a similar vein to a recent sermon he gave entitled “You think you could be a better Pope?”