Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Getting Really Insecure Lately

Following the recent turmoil of his controversial and questionable election win, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has reportedly been growing increasingly paranoid that nobody likes him. Sources close to the President grew concerned after his adverse reactions to polls showing opponent Mousavi likely to win. “He really flipped out,” an anonymous insider said. “You know how it is, North Korea gets some attention on the world stage so you’re feeling a bit self-conscious, then one bad opinion poll and suddenly you’re censoring the media and blocking all communications in and out of your country.”

According to some reports, Ahmadinejad has been less enthusiastic about his trademark tirades against the West and can barely muster the enthusiasm to continue denying the Holocaust. Instead he has allegedly been shuffling around the presidential residence wrapped in a blanket and carrying a hot water bottle. Some sources even claim that the only reason Twitter has been left largely uncensored by the government is the hope that President Ahmadinejad might attract more followers this Friday.

Members of the Iranian government have appealed to the public for assistance with Ahmadinejad's deteriorating self-esteem. “It is vital that the people of Iran are represented by a justly elected leader,” stated Vice-President Parviz Davoodi. “But c’mon guys – can’t we just let him have this one?”