Surprise Draft Pick Of Older Brother Rocks Children’s Basketball Game

In what is being hailed as the biggest controversy in playground sports since the concept of “no tag-backs,” 8-year-old coach Michael Hawthorne recently picked his older brother Thomas, 14, as he was walking past the courts. Upon receiving the lucrative offer, Thomas was quoted as saying, “Sure, I’ll play some basketball with ya Mikey.” This was in clear violation of established team-picking rules, especially as there were plenty of kids still unpicked, and Michael already got to pick his best friend Ben who’s on the school’s basketball team anyway.

Rival coach William Garrison, 7, expressed concern for the dangerous precedent this would establish, warning that it could bring the game into disrepute. “Nuh-uh, you can’t pick Tom! He’s too old, it’s not fair,” added Garrison. As of press time, neither coach was willing to pick the resident fat kid, as there were now too many people playing already.