Sports Coach Keeps Using Business Metaphors

Raymond Doherty, coach of a local under-17 basketball team and former office manager, reportedly keeps using business-related metaphors to inspire his team, drawn from his glory days at a photocopier manufacturing company. “C’mon guys, we can do this,” Doherty implored his team on the weekend. “It’s just like when you’ve got lower-than-projected sales figures for the fourth quarter of the financial year, and sure, the cost-benefit analysis may seem like it’s a lost cause, but we can raise those productivity figures! We can meet our agreed-upon target of 5-8 percent growth! Now get out there and win!”

Doherty’s methods have prompted mixed reactions from both his team and spectators. “I think sometimes Ray can’t get past his former glories,” said one parent attending the game. “We’ve all heard that story about how he managed to incorporate a more efficient stock inventory process, but I don’t see how it helps my kid score points from the free-throw line.” Further criticism has been directed at Doherty’s insistence on delivering gameplay strategies as twenty-minute Powerpoint presentations.